Three Ways to Romance Your Self

Hello and welcome beautiful Souls!

Today I am coming at you with Three simple ways that you can Romance Your Self. You may be wondering what that even means, so let me explain a little bit before we jump in! Romancing Your Self is a phrase I like to use to “date myself”. On my Healing journey it has required me to spend a lot of time alone, so, me being a hopeless romantic I NEEDED to create a routine for my Self that included scheduling out time to take my Self out on “dates”. At first it felt very uncomfortable because I had never done it before, so please, be easy on yourself it feels unnatural. Allow yourself to sit with the discomfort and you will find how enjoyable your own company can truly be.

I know that my focus is on my healing, happiness, health and purpose, so those things alone keep me very active. And yes, I would rather stay at home in my Sacred Space then "go out", if this makes me the lamest person in the World, I am okay with it, becuase honestly I'd rather enjoy my own company than over stimulate my Self with unecessary energetic exchanges that only deplete me. So if you're a "homebody" you'll love this! Learning how to schedule time to romance my Self has really taught me how to act as if my partner was with me, right here, right now. So, I began asking my Self how I would behave if I already had my dream man, and I started taking action to BEcome that version of my Self and now im going to show you HOW to do the same!

I had never been in a committed relationship prior to this path, so, essentially I have been learning how to commit to my Self, which I think is important in relationships, because we can’t commit to another if we can’t even commit to our Self. I then made it my “mission” to become my own lover, to take the steps to make my Self feel romanced without the partner. It has been nothing like I imagined it would be, but even better actually, because it’s taught me how to love my Self unconditionally, how to mend my own heart and how to meet my own needs so that I can show up in my relationships from a place of inner security.

These Three ways to Romance Your Self will not only help you create more love, romance and passion into your Life, but also more peace, security and stability. It will reunite you with your Inner Light and guide you through the unknown terrain of being in a committed and intimate relationship and we’re going to start with loving on our Self

Number One: Prepare a meal

Simple and straight to the point, what's better than a dinner date? Who doesn’t like food? Try being considerate of what your potential partner might like, at least imagine asking him/her for their opinion, because remember, we’re practicing acting as if our partner was with us so that we may consider them when making plans. Next, start by picking a meal you’ve never prepared before. This will help you step out of your comfort zone, but in a less “risky” way. Allow yourself to get adventurous with flavours, textures, and ingredients. Maybe add a spin to your already favorite dish to give it a splash of freshness

Get dressed up for your Self, do your hair, or don’t, do your makeup if you want. You could buy your favorite flowers. Also, you’re definitely going to want to create a playlist for this. Think of songs you may want to listen to with your partner, add some romantic love songs and allow yourself to listen to the music while you prepare and prepare your meal. Imagine your partner helping you, dancing with you, singing to you loving on you. Let yourself dream and dance a little. You can get really into it and let it lead you.

{check out this weeks Relationship Toolbox to learn how to receive affectionate and romantic touch through a guided Mindful Movement dancing sequence}

Not only is this a great way to “date” your Self, it’s also a great mindfulness practice that will help you connect to your Sensuality. When you’re eating your dinner allow your Self to sit quietly without distractions and taste every single flavor. Chew your food slowly and with intention, get intimate with the taste and textures. Truly immerse your Self in the experience to reap the benefits of this practice. Don’t forget the dessert, get sensual with fruit or warm dishes or any other delicious foods that “turns you on”. As much as it is a way to romance your Self it’s also a way to connect with your Self more intimately.

Number Two: Take a Walk at Sunset

Here we go with the very traditional option of going for a stroll at sunset. This is one of my absolute favorite practices! It’s one of the most effective ways to create an energetic union and stay grounded to the Earth. Find a place to walk near sunset, maybe it is a local park or trail, maybe it’s down your road or around the block. Wherever it is located doesn’t matter, but it’s even sweeter near the water or in the woods. The closer you’re connected to Nature, the better, it will give you a better effect.

Put on something that makes you feel good, I always enjoy putting on a little makeup or wearing something that makes me feel cute, but do whatever feels right for you. As you walk in nature, barefoot or with shoes, you’re going to walk with intention. Placing your attention on the base of your feet and feeling it connect to the ground. Is what you’re feeling hard, soft, bumpy, rough? Begin to observe your surroundings, what do you see? Animals, insects, birds, flowers, trees, buildings, cars? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel?

Your mind is going to want to wander and pull you in a million directions, but now begin to imagine your partner there with you, holding your hand, smiling at you, walking beside you. Allow yourself to be in that state of connection through your imagination, let yourself feel it coming alive in your body. Feel your heart pumping, feel your lungs expanding, feel your legs supporting you. Place your attention on your body, because your body is your “boyfriend/girlfriend”. You want to practice treating your Self how you would want your partner to. This is another great mindfulness practice that can calm your mind, release your stress and open your heart to feel connected to the energy of Love.

Number Three: Write a Love letter

Who hasn’t wanted to receive a Love Letter? I know I have! Now you’re going to give yourself a sweet little message. It can be as long as you want or as short as you want. Create a sacred space. I encourage you to light a candle, get your favorite notebook, maybe diffuse some essential oils, out on some meditation music or classical music and allow yourself to begin writing a love note. This can be to your Self or it can be to your “lover”. Even if that lover is imaginary, it doesn't matter. Or better yet imagine what you would say to your future lover. Let it spill out of you.

If you have any repressed emotions of love or sadness or grief allow them to come out now. Write them down on the paper, get them out of you so that you can move your energy and let go of pent up emotions. Remember you’re not actually sending this letter. This is strictly for you and you only, so let yourself get deep, let it all out, the “good”, the “bad’ and the ugly. Watch as you begin to release stress or tension carried in you body, let your Self turn it into a poem, into a rhyme, let it become what it wants, allow your expression take the lead.

When you finish writing the letter, reread it, see what came up for you and how you can use it to better understand your self and where you are at emotionally. You may want to write a “goodbye” letter to an old aspect of your Self or to an “ex” that broke your heart. Whatever it is for you, let your Self express it authentically and honestly. Then you can burn it in a safe place or tear it up and throw it away or put it in an envelope and save it in a sacred space. This will not only help you feel more connected to your Self, but it will heal your heart so that you can begin to open up to receive love. When we have been hurt by love in the past it can be vulnerable and “scary” to love again, but as you relate to your Self in this new loving way you literally REWRITE your story. This is your Life, how do you want to live it? Full of regret? Or full of Love? Best part is; you get to choose! So choose New! Choose YOU!

Because baby, you are WORTH it! It is time to STOP hating your Self and START dating your Self. When you give your Self the love you desire to receive from another, you feel empowered and you start to respect your Self in ways you’ve never dreamed of, and as a result you attract a partner that is going to mirror that same respect back to you. BE YOUR OWN LOVER. Nobody knows how to love you better than YOU.

Remember, there’s a difference between romantic love and divine love, Divine Love is experienced through time and space, meaning you don;t have to be with anyone in order to feel and receive it. Romantic love is temporary, but Divine Love is eternal. When we connect with that Eternal Love withIN, we can give that same unconditional love to others. Connecting with Divine Love takes devotion and commitment, it is how you learn how to devote to a romantic connection.

Romance is great, but it’s nothing compared to Divine Love. Don’t get too caught up in having romantic love, rather be swept away by the cosmic current of Divine Love, let it take you into it’s hold and teach you how to love your Self unconditionally. Let it show you how to fall in love with your Self.

I have linked "The Spaceshot" A Guided Meditation for "falling" in Love that I created for my YouTube channel. Please Like, Subscribe & Share this with anyone you feel might benefit.

Thank you for reading!

Love and blessings, Ashley <3