New Life

Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a marriage. It’s the practice of being in a committed relationship with Jesus, daily, hourly, monthly, yearly. It’s the greatest relationship we will ever have. It’s the greatest gift we’ve been given, by our Father, to have an intimate relationship with His Son. He’s given us all that we could ever need through this covenant with Christ.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” || Ephesians‬ ‭2:4-7‬

It’s such a beautiful experience, being a Christian, but it also comes with a lot of preconceived ideas that have become attached to that word. Seriously, just the word Christian used to repulse me. I never had any religious trauma as a child. I wasn’t raised Christian. It’s been a choice to identify as one, & it’s not because I am religious by any means, it’s because I’m in a committed relationship with Jesus. I am in fellowship with him & following his teachings & his word. I believe in him, in his death & resurrection. I trust in him in a way I’ve never trusted before. I hope in him in a way I’ve never hoped before. I now, after months of devotion to him, have become proud of my identity in him, as a Christian. I don’t see it as I once did, with all these different meanings & judgements attached to it. It’s no longer just an idea, but a lifestyle.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice & be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory & of God rests upon you.”

|| 1 Peter‬ ‭4:12-14‬

When Jesus renews your heart he literally gives you new life & it’s his promise that in this new life you will share eternity with him, knowing that whatever you face in life, whether trial or triumph he will be with you through it all. He gives you new eyes to see the world around you & you’re no longer bound to the identity of the world. This can be challenging sometimes because as a Christian you can really feel like you’re swimming against the current. The whole world is moving in the opposite direction as you’re being lead. The world is saying do this, look at that… & Jesus is saying, do what I say, look at me. He wants you to keep your focus on him amidst the opposition of the world.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good & acceptable & perfect.”

|| Romans‬ ‭12:2

With this knowing that you have a leader that wants to protect you, not control you, you can go against the grain & still feel like you’re moving in a direction that brings you the structure you need to fight against the temptations of the world. Temptation is everywhere you look. The enemy is always trying to lead you astray. & it starts with one little thing at a time that eventually leads down the path to hell & eternal damnation. Being in the New Age I did not believe in hell. I thought it was a state of consciousness that you access within & that you either create heaven or hell in your mind. But now I know the truth. That hell is real & that it’s not a place I want to be.

Jesus Christ has saved me from this road I was traveling, thinking it was leading to freedom, but was actually imprisoning me further. It felt liberating to my flesh, but it kept me craving more & more. No matter what I did I never felt free enough. Until I was freed by our Lord & Savior. He released me from the tight grip of Satan that was keeping me deceived. I thought I was so woke & receiving all this esoteric knowledge & divine downloads, when really the evil one was creating cataracts over my eyes, blinding me & driving me further away from the Truth of Jesus, of discipleship in Christianity.

“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, & pray & seek my face & turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven & will forgive their sin & heal their land.” || 2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14

There was a time when I was coming out of new age & being called by Christ where I felt there was a literal battle for my soul. Jesus & Satan fighting for me. There was a very clear difference between the two. Satan was obnoxious & would mock & mimic Jesus every time Jesus would attempt to call me & lead me to him, the enemy would try to distract me by telling me lies. It became so clear over time because Jesus never had to convince me. But the devil was working day & night trying to convince me to follow him. Jesus always made me feel like I had a choice.

Jesus also made me feel like he wanted me. I could feel how strongly he wanted my heart & my soul. He would yearn for me. He would sit patiently in my room & kindly speak to me, telling me how much he loved me & cared for me & wanted me to be with him. It was so unfamiliar at the time because I had never experienced anyone wanting me so intensely. Every time I cried to him, my heart would ache to be soothed & he was the only one that could make me feel better. The enemy only made me feel worse & I couldn’t take it anymore. So, I chose the Lord. & as soon as I made the clear cut decision, the cataracts that Satan used to cover my eyes, were healed. Just like Jesus healed the blind, he healed my spiritual blindness & gave me new sight.

“the Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous.” || Psalm‬ ‭146:8

It’s like the first time I got glasses in my early twenties. I was living my whole life thinking I could see just fine, that I didn’t need glasses. Then one day I tired on a pair of coworkers glasses & I could see the actual numbers on the clock. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe how clearly I could see. It felt like the same thing happened when I “tried on” the eyes of Christ. What was once blurry became crystal clear. There was no way I could go back to seeing how I once viewed life. He renewed my vision & gave me a sense of clarity I was searching for through new age practices, that only kept my thoughts fuzzy & my mind foggy.

His ability to heal with just a belief in him is a miracle. I always knew that he existed, that he was a real man, but it wasn’t until I believed in him, in his life, as God in the flesh, who was sacrificed for our sins & then risen from the dead to be set free as a sinless, blameless man, that I had that shift take place in my heart & mind. I spent hours crying to him, telling him sorry for going astray. For leading others astray, for blaspheming his word & his teachings & for rebelling against him, for leaning away from him it times of challenge & suffering instead of leaning into him. His mercy is unlike any other form of forgiveness. It’s clean. It’s pure. There’s absolutely nothing held against you. As soon as I gave all my sins over to him, he washed them clean. Like taking peroxide to a open wound. It stung & it hurt, but it also was purified & bound up. I found that new age was like putting a bandaid over an infected wound & expecting it to heal.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another & pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” || James‬ ‭5:16‬

I realized I was constantly seeping my soul out, draining my spirit every time I would go against his commandments, further infecting the wound I was trying so hard to repair. I didn’t understand it at the time, because I wasn’t aware of the act of repentance & being forgiven for my trespasses against him. It was the medicine my soul was seeking & always needed. As soon as I knew that this was how I became closer to him & formed a deeper bond with him. The more I willingly went to him directly to handle my transgressions & temptations. One of the greatest things I’ve experienced is knowing that only Jesus is perfect. We, children of man, aren’t. & in a way it’s such a relief. Because Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect. Never does he put pressure on us not to sin. He knows that we will be tempted, & that sometimes we will give in, but he is there as the blameless Son of God to forgive our debts without criticism & condemnation. There’s no shame or guilt trips when you come to him with your faults or your flaws or your failures. There’s nothing but the riches of grace that pour out of him & into you like a spring of water that quenches your thirsty heart.

“& he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha & the Omega, the beginning & the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.” || Revelation‬ ‭21:6‬

In new age I was doing all this work to heal my perfectionism. I can honestly say that developing a relationship with Jesus Christ has helped me put this coping mechanism I learned in childhood in order to “earn love” to rest. Because with him I don’t have to earn his love. He doesn’t make me work for it & I don’t have to pretend to be okay when I’m not. I don’t have to fake it anymore in order to receive love. Because he loves me without reservations. His love has restored my faith & is giving birth to new life. I still experience the labor pains & the aches & pains that come with the growth spurts. But I am coming back to life after being spiritually dead since birth. He has risen in me & I, his sister, his bride, dwell in him forever & ever, amen.

“Now this I say & testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous & have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him & were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life & is corrupt through deceitful desires, & to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, & to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness & holiness. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry & do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, & give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. & do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness & wrath & anger & clamor & slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

|| Ephesians‬ ‭4:17-32‬

Thank you for reading!

Blessings be with you, Ashley <3

———> be sure to check out my podcast where I dive deeper into this subject to talk about spiritual blindness, becoming a Christian & the gift of being given New Life.

Follow me on Instagram @dating.gods.son & find my podcast: Dating God’s Son on Spotify!