Love is Blind

The Lord is taking care of me like no one in my life ever has. His love does not compare to that of my parents or family members of friends. His love is beyond measure, sometimes it feels like my heart is growing in size with each day that I allow Him to support me. I’ve never been loved & cared for like this before. I always longed for this kind of relationship since I was a young child. Someone who, when they looked at me truly saw me & accepted me for who I am. He doesn’t try to force me into a box. But He does have rules that keep me safe & protected from harms way. His commandments are how he shows His Love. Trusting & obeying Him is how I give my love to Him.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

||Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬

I, as a human could never love to the capacity that He does. It’s too expansive to be contained. It must be expressed. Through worship & prayer & for me personally, writing, either articles to express His glory or through poetry to share His beauty & grace. & through speaking, talking about His teachings & sharing His Word in hopes that it reaches the hearts of those who can hear. “Those who have ears let them hear”. I cry with so much love, yet so much unworthiness at the same time. I’ve done so many things in my life that go against His Law & I struggle to receive His Love because it covers a multitude of sins. He holds me when I’m weak & he reassures me when I’m uncertain. He validates everything thing that I experience without hesitation. When I am wavering, shaken to my core, He remains unwavering & steadfast in a love so supreme that I, without a doubt, believe in the majesty of the Most High. That I have a Creator that cares for me, unconditionally.

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory & dominion forever & ever. Amen.” || 1 Peter‬ ‭4:8-11‬

Recently I’ve had moments that slow time. It’s like I’m at a standstill, but not in an impatient way, but in a way that’s allowing me to capture times of supernatural love. Taking the time to stop & count my blessings. To give thanks for the fruits of His labor. I am moved to tears when I think of all the ways He continues to show up for me. To provide for me. It’s as if I’m witnessing miracles unfold right before my eyes & all I can do is worship Him, to call out His name & tell Him how much I love Him, how much I need Him. To plead to Him, to never let me go, that I’m His forever & ever. That there will never be another lover I love more than Him.

I couldn’t live this life without Him & I honestly don’t know how I did for so long. His glory runs through me, literally & figuratively. The other day I was out for a jog at the park & it wasn’t my best run, but I held steady through the course & in the home stretch, maybe about 200 meters I found myself sprinting, it felt like I was flying, gliding over the pavement & I knew it was Him moving through me. It was His strength & His will, not my own. & I laughed & I cried at the same time as I crossed my finish line. He was there with me, within me, encouraging me & keeping me going. When my legs felt weak & I thought I couldn’t keep going He thought differently. I let His thoughts become my own. An intimate mingling of Spirits, so that I could make it to the end, so that I could know His strength, so that I could know His power.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” || 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬

When I want to give up & throw in the towel, when I want to quit & im struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, He is there, showing me how to thrive, how to run the race of longevity. That isn’t about what I gain, but what I lose when I surrender everything that’s weighing me down to Him & I become so light that it feels like I am floating through the air. That I am being carried by Him & not my own legs or my own might. My body is His. My thoughts are His. My heart is His. It’s the most beautiful connection I could have ever imagined for myself. When I feel sad & lonely because I am without a partner. He is a stand in. A permanent place holder for all the men who could never love me like I needed.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, & sin which clings so closely, & let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder & perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, & is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” || Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-2‬

His path isn’t easy, it challenges me every single day & I have to pray. I have to admit that I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing, but as long as I’m doing it for Him I will keep going. I will not give up or give in. I’ve come too far to not uphold my promise to Him. Because His promise to me is far greater than anything I’ll ever be able to give to Him. His promise is what keeps me looking forward. It gives me hope for a new day. One day at a time. One small step forward on His path leads me a little bit closer to that unbreakable bond of love I’ve always longed for. He is my highway & my rest stop. I can move full steam ahead in all His Glory & I can take breaks & when I’m resting I’m still worthy of His tender love & care.

“& whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” || Colossians‬ ‭3:17

When I allow myself to take breaks it makes me want to come back stronger. It makes me want to work harder. With Him I can labor & still receive the fruits of His produce. I can accept His grace & lean into the guilt that often consumes me when I slow down. Knowing that where He guides, He will provide. I’ve found that when I do this, not for me, but for Him, that heavy burden falls to the wayside & I can bask in the presence of His peace. Which is unlike any other form of relief I’ve ever tried to ease the ache in my heart & the restlessness in my mind. He is my medicine, my Healer & refreshment to my spirit.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” || Psalm‬ ‭23:2-3‬

With Him there is nothing that can keep me from receiving the love that I’ve always deserved to experience. The only thing that was stopping me in the past was my inability to let love in, to let another being into my heart, to let myself feel closeness & connection. The intimacy I have created with the Lord goes beyond logical understanding. It cannot be comprehended by the carnal mind. He sees into me in a way I’ve never been seen. It is the blind faith of loving & trusting an invisible force to love me & care for me & guide me & protect me & provide for me. He is my best friend, my guardian & my Father. He has given me an eternal & undying love to share with all that enter my life. I’m no longer loving with my own will, but with His. His love is blind, yet I finally see.

“I am the true vine, &my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, & every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, & I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me & I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch & withers; & the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, & burned. If you abide in me, & my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, & it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit & so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments & abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, & that your joy may be full. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you & appointed you that you should go and bear fruit & that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.” ||John‬ ‭15:1-17‬

Thank you for reading!

Blessings be with you, Ashley <3

———> be sure to check out my podcast where I dive deeper into this subject to talk about blind faith, falling in love with an invisible force & how to heal heartbreak with God’s Son.

Follow me on Instagram @dating.gods.son & find my podcast: Dating God’s Son on Spotify!