Healing the Limiting Perception of Race & Gender

Making peace with my identity <3

I have been doing some internal research and past-life healing the last few years when it comes to relating, mostly relating toward myself. I’ve discovered some things about myself that I didn’t know before and as a result I had to shift my beliefs to align with what resonates for me on a soul level, not just on a surface level.

Our beliefs about ourselves and the world are inherited to us by our ancestors, by our primary caregivers and most often we are not allowed to be different, or to form our own beliefs. We are generally forced unconsciously into ways of behaving that please the people around us. We compromise our own beliefs in order to be “seen” in a certain light. This causes a lot of internal conflict.

That’s what I want to talk to you about today. I’ve had this conflict around gender and race within me since I was a young child. At that time, when I was a kid, I obviously couldn't understand fully why I felt this internal chaos, but now as an adult who’s been through a spiritual awakening and a shift in values I can see much more clearly why I had this internal conflict around these two particular issues and how it caused an addiction to negative thinking that lead to an eating disorder.

For me now and when I was a young child; I am able to see beyond the physical. I don’t see a person's body, the color of their skin or the possessions they own, I don’t see their clothes or their career, I see a soul, I see me. Growing up I was taught to categorize things, to divide people and to label experiences, as most of us are. We are taught at a very young age to relate to others and the world through the lens of the ego. The ego categorizes to be able to comprehend the human experience, although the soul experience is incomprehensible, the ego tries to label it to make sense of it. This limited lens does not resonate with me as a soul, because as a soul I am inclusive and expansive, I am multi dimensional and I am able to see many differing perceptions.

I loved this image of my nephews as the minority <3

I felt extremely vulnerable as I began to investigate and dig deeper at where these beliefs were formed so that I could begin to feel at peace within myself, to stop having all this internal conflict and to get to the root of the imbalance I was experiencing, not just within, but also with my relationships. I recognized I was limiting myself in so many ways by identifying so strongly with gender and race.

As I really began to look at my masculine and feminine qualities I started to gain this sense of awareness that allowed for me to see myself from a more neutral vantage point. I was no longer viewing myself as “Ashley”, the human in a female body. I was now seeing myself as an eternal soul, no gender, no body. In that sense I couldn’t identify with being a woman or being white, because my soul is All, my soul is made up of both masculine and feminine. My soul has experienced many different life times in different colored bodies, cultures and races, so all those experiences make up my soul. My soul is all inclusive because it sees itself not just who it is in this particular life time, in this particular experience and body, but who it has been many times before. This makes me able to relate more profoundly, to be more curious about the experiences of different genders, races and cultures. It allows for me to expand my perception and not only see life from my experiences, but to see it from others as well. It brings me out of my “small” mind and into my Higher Self, the part of me that is the Whole.

We are taught at a very young age to perceive the “separation” of gender. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. In my opinion this is very unhealthy. It teaches us to divide, to dissociate from our masculine and feminine essence. Earth is a planet of duality. We are a whole and perfect soul that incarnates into a mind and body that acts as a veil that keeps us from remembering our true essence. The path in my opinion is to remember that deep knowing, to return to our wholeness while still being deeply connected to our humanity and duality.

Duality could also be known as contrast or “light” and “dark”, sun and moon, masculine and feminine. It is what creates balance and Divine Order on our planet. This is what teaches our soul to evolve and expand. Expansion is the soul's one true love, that’s what it seeks, to reunite to its natural state of wholeness. Division is the egos job, that’s what it’s intended to do, to keep you out of “danger”, remember here, that if we ever felt in danger in our homes growing up, the ego will associate danger with “love” and if we don’t recognize this, we will unconsciously seek this in relationships to reenact our beliefs formed in childhood. So, the ego will always keep you “safe” even if that means keeping you from love.

This can be a challenging one to discern because if we grew up associating pain, danger, trauma and fear as love we will seek that familiarity in relationships, even if on some level we know that it isn’t love, we will stay in harmful situations and relationships because it is what is known to the ego. Ego likes to stay comfortable even if it means staying in harmful situations, anything is better than facing the “unknown”. The unknown of change can send the ego into overdrive because the unfamiliar is seen as a “threat” to the ego, it cannot predict the unknown, so instead it projects past pain and fear into the unknown as a way to give it some kind of comprehensible gratification and knowing. This is where we begin to form unhealthy attachments, not just to people and places, but to our thoughts.

Negative thinking causes a great deal of conflict in the mind and body. It creates tension and stress, it causes you to feel defeated, worn out, exhausted and depleted. This keeps us stuck in unhealthy habits because we are draining our life force energy with our own free will. We have to see beyond our thoughts and consciously observe ourselves from a higher perspective. This is where we can begin to detach not only from our negative limiting thoughts, but from the identification of our race, gender and social class. We see ourselves beyond our conditioning and we begin to make new decisions and take new action to align with our truest selves.

That’s the whole purpose in my opinion, it’s not to be “enlightened” and “spiritual” it is to be true to yourself. To live in alignment with your values, to live with integrity, which means to be true to your heart. When we live from the ego we live in a perception (reality) of division, separation, label and lack. But when we live from the heart we live in the perception of wholeness, unity, openness and abundance. We begin to live in harmony because now our mind is working for us, not against us.

Our mind is a mechanism that allows for our soul to experience the five senses, if we can get our mind to work for us then we no longer have to work against it, we are at peace with who we are and our beliefs, we come into a complete acceptance of being human beings and an eternal soul. And it is from here that we no longer see gender, race or social class, we see humanity and we see eternity. We become completely neutral because we can now see All sides, not just one. We can see that behind the skin, the body, the possessions is a soul, just the same as me and you.

We are both, we can be both male and female, we can be all colors, we can be both rich and poor and still see unity. That’s the purpose of duality, to perceive the unity while still experiencing the illusion of separation. Separation is only a perception. When you practice perceiving the unity in all things, people, places and experiences then you rewire the pathways in your brain and you start thinking differently and you start acting differently. This is a good thing. This is what creates change in the world.

We are so much more than we’ve been made to believe. When we can see beyond our bodies we actually take better care of them. When we’re not so identified with our “role” we allow ourselves to be a lot more open and expressive. We are allowed to be multifaceted. We are allowed to be little sweet and kind girls and we are also allowed to be little angry hurt girls. We are allowed to play in the mud and with our baby dolls. We are allowed to be little boys that are strong and helpful and we are also allowed to be little boys who are loving and nurtured. We are allowed to play with trucks and barbies. We are not limited, we are not bound by labels. We are of course born a certain gender, with male or female organs, but we must always remember that the soul can be both, the soul can express All.

My nephew loves playing outside & with his baby <3

If you want to develop more of your masculine qualities in a female body that does not make you “manly” and if you want to develop more of your feminine qualities in a male body that does not make you “feminine”. You may find that as you cultivate these qualities within yourself that you become a lot more balanced in mind, body and soul. Balance in the mission, to find the middle ground with our own internal opposing energies, to work together in harmony with the human ego and the eternal soul. This makes us able to work together as one cohesive class that makes up humanity. When we reunite within, we reunite without. We are stronger together when we consciously choose to seek unity instead of division.

I created a video to share with you a more personal experience that has helped me to heal the internal conflict I've felt with my gender and race! I hope you enjoy! :)

Thank you for reading!

Love and blessings, Ashley <3