Entry One

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

As I have strengthened my voice, the stronger my neck has become. I used to hate my double chin and neck, but I've realized my throat chakra was clogged and at an early age I learned not to use my voice, thus weakening my neck. I always had terrible neck pain growing up and as I have physically strengthened using yoga to develop my intuition and third-eye chakra I have also strengthened my communication by clearing and cleansing my throat chakra. Chakras are our bodies energetic storage. As I strengthened my energy I strengthened my voice, my intuition, my mind, my emotions, my creative expression and my physical body.

I use my neck pain and lack of motivation to do my daily yoga as an indicator that I’m having trouble expressing my emotions. When I’m choosing to stay quiet instead of speaking up and voicing my need. This is helping me recognize and practice voicing my needs in a romantic relationship. It feels like a study. I am the “hanged man”, it’s as if I’m learning to observe my behavior to teach me how to become the partner that I am seeking. The distance has taught me how to be in relationships; family, romantic, friends and speak up for myself. I was a doormat, I allowed others to walk all over me and “tear me down” because I didn’t know my value. I had to learn how to create clear boundaries. How to find myself and take care of myself, not necessarily in the sense of money or material possessions, but to truly value myself, how to take care and nurture the qualities in me that are valuable, such as my intuition, healing abilities, self worth and self love. Thus increasing my confidence in myself, my trust in myself and my overall value in myself. How to become an endless flow of unconditional love and encouragement because I am truly loving myself, opening me up to provide emotionally and physically for another. Learning how to be in a committed relationship with myself has taught me a lot about how to pursue my dream of helping others in relationships of all kinds and to pursue their dreams. This is why I took on a challenging bloodline, I needed the contrast of dysfunctional relationships to teach me how to meet my own needs first, otherwise I am of no use to anyone. To help others I had to learn and teach myself how to commit to myself, thus helping me to commit to a potential partner and to my dreams. I had to learn how to value myself in order to be able to effectively and clearly communicate my needs and express my emotions without reacting from my inner child wounding and to see it through the eyes of unconditional love. I also learned that to bring in ideal committed clients and provide for myself financially without expending a tremendous amount of energy and draining my own energy to help I needed to be charging from a place of self-value.

True love will ask us to be the best possible version of ourselves. It highlights all the places that need “work” or “healing”. Emotional “work” is learning how to be compassionate and understanding. The only way we can learn how to be compassionate and understanding to others is; to learn how to be it for ourselves. To me; wisdom comes from experience. Knowledge can only take you so far, but to truly understand the experience of others we have to immerse ourselves into a similar experience to truly understand and serve with purpose and passion.

I believe that part of many peoples purpose is to do this emotional work, energy work, subconscious/ belief system upgrade (inner child healing) work and in return God or the universe supports this and will provide in miraculous ways to assist you along the way. This is life long work, but it benefits all of humanity and helps Mother Earth while simultaneously upgrading your life and creating inner peace and a brand new perspective on life and its trials and tribulations. As you start doing this “work” you’ll act as a “domino effect” inspiring others to live a life of peace of mind and abundance.

I want to create an abundance of money because I want to have the freedom and ability to serve and give back to the homeless and hungry. I want to freely teach them how to recognize and believe in their value. I want to teach them and help them understand that they, just for existing are provided for, That God sees them, that I see them. I have a knack for seeing the best in people. I’m a gardener, I like to provide light and emotional support by being able to understand. Taking a seed and turning it into a fruitful plant. If more people believed in their value we would see it reflected back at us and we could see a decrease in homelessness and in flow of financial abundance nationwide. The phrase; “think global act local” comes to mind.

It is my “job” right now to focus on serving, to look at the bigger picture and long term goal, it is what fuels my passion to do the inspirational “work” as I simultaneously create or “work” toward my own personal development and financial goals. As I inspire I must be authentic and transparent to find and create a community of like minded people to create valuable content for. This is essentially my marketing strategy for this new direction. I tried posting “valuable content” regularly, but it felt forced and too rigid and honestly it burned me out, fast. So this time as I work towards my financial goals and build my career “behind the scenes” because I want to take the time to create a program and I don’t want to deliver it “half-ass”

I can share my process, share my emotions, my ups and downs, my “failures” and how I will overcome them by flowing with life and knowing that rejection or failure is only redirection and a new creative opportunity. How to go in a different direction instead of giving up on myself completely. I learn through trial and error. I can inspire others to follow their hearts desires by following my own and sharing my own journey. This requires me to be as honest and vulnerable as possible. Which also leaves me feeling scared; rejected and abandoned and that is why it's important for me to “play” to have fun and enjoy the process is the only way I am able to stay focused and open to new creative ideas, it’s how I stay receptive to the part of me that wants my highest good, my soul. If I am creating from a place of authenticity, integrity, transparency and receptivity, it is impossible for me to fail, I will fall down sometimes, hit roadblocks, there will be obstacles and I will choose to see them as a way to learn. I like a challenge, it’s how I find and build my strength as a soul. The stronger I become the more magnetic my frequency becomes making me attractive to my highest outcome and I am able to raise the consciousness or “light” of the planet. Thus doing my part in changing the world.

There’s no doubt that I can do this, in fact I am already doing it and it’s making me resilient, strong and I believe in myself like I never have before. This is my purpose, this is my hearts desire to be of service while simultaneously being able to provide for myself, just by being myself. Because It is something that I am passionate about and because it’s coming from my heart, there is no doubt that I will be successful. Even if no one else believes in me, I will always believe in myself, that’s how I know that I will keep going while also being proud of what I have already accomplished and knowing how far I’ve already come in order to effectively motivate myself and others.