Discerning Faith From Fear by Consciously Connecting to the Inner Child

Pic credit: @raisinghumanskind on Instagram

This is also true for adults. We all have an emotional body (inner child) but what a lot of us have been taught is; to manipulate, judge, neglect & punish that part of ourselves.

What happens when we don’t slow down & take the time to be with our emotions? They begin to reside in the body, usually causing some sort of discomfort & ailments. Anger & resentment calcify & build up, like an energetic "tumor". Creating & harboring stress & tension in the body can make us want to reside in the mind, as a means to escape the discomfort & “pain”.

But if our bodies are in distress, it’s because our mind is. Our subconscious mind CONTROLS the body, but the conscious mind DIRECTS the body. Where our attention goes, our energy flows.

Pain is only temporary & can be transcended through PRESENCE with the breath & body. Though this is a practice & is done slowly & gently over a extended period of time.

When our emotions are not felt & expressed; through, crying, therapy, writing or any form of creation, they begin to alter & distort our perception of reality.

They’re like the storm clouds that are covering the light of our soul. Our soul is the sun, always shining, even behind the dense & dark clouds of our emotions is residing our connection to Source. Just as the sun generates warmth & stimulates growth, so does our soul. Our soul is our internal encourager & provider. Giving us energy & power to breakthrough the clouds of our emotions & return to our internal LIGHT.

The most challenging part of emotional healing as adults is getting beyond those internal conflicts we have about who we are, or rather who we were told & molded to be as children when we would vulnerably express our feelings. Our responsibility as adults is to begin to "clean up" these unconscious recordings & replace them with updated & elevated information, based from our own understanding of who we are as a soul, not who we were conditioned to be by our caregivers & environment.

What most of us aren't aware of is; our thoughts are not WHO we are, they are a subconscious recording that was heard & stored as a young child. This can be from parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, preachers, coaches, strangers, tv shows, music, books & media. As a child (ages 0-6) our unconscious mind is always absorbing, processing & storing.

For example; I was unconsciously manipulated, mocked, neglected & punished as a child by my caregivers when I experienced emotions. Now as a result I’ve created this internal dialogue that when I allow myself to rest, heal & express my feelings it likes to pipe up & say things like; “you can’t eat/play(be accepted) until you stop crying & calm down” -Internal Manipulator. Or; “quit being a baby” -Internal Mocker. “Go to your room(hide)” -Internal Abandoner. “You’re going to get slapped(hurt) if you keep it up” -Internal Punisher.

Now, as I’ve learned to get quiet & stop distracting myself with “busyness”, always running errands, scrolling the phone, watching TV, overeating, overworking & over socializing. I’ve been able to hear beyond the ego|inner child|conditioning & listen for the voice of my Soul.

That voice is very different. Whereas my ego made my body feel anxious, threatened, abandoned & victimized. My soul would speak to me like this; “what do you need from me right now?” -Internal Caretaker. “how can I help you get through this?” -Internal Encourager. “I love you, you’re not alone” -Internal Provider. “Let me hold you through this.” -Internal Supporter. The way my souls voice made my body feel was so different—calm, relaxed, safe & seen. That’s how I began to differentiate between fear & faith, through the way my body felt. My truth felt good & expansive, but my conditioning & made up scenarios felt constricting & disempowering.

I had to begin to redirect my harmful thoughts like we redirect a 2 year old from harm. Our ego is a lot like an irrational child that must be disciplined with structure, not punished with force. This is how I started the process of reparenting myself. Learning how to trust my souls advice over my egos conditioning has been a practice of getting present & being still.

Listening to my bodies signals & wisdom has helped me get clear on what is Truth versus what is conditioning. We tend to avoid this phase of “healing” because it requires us to get really honest about what we’re feeling, which isn’t always pleasant, but in doing so we free ourselves from our mind(ego)conditioning & we reconnect with our heart(soul)Truth.

Only when we get clear about what we’re feeling can we begin to take ACTION to generate different feelings & emotional responses, ones that align with our eternal Self, rather than our temporary self.

When we are expressing emotion what we’re really seeking is connection, connection from our parents, but more importantly— reconnection to our inner world, to our inner light & Source. Our job as parents is not to "fix" or "save" or deny or punish our children for their emotional reactions (tantrums), it is our responsibility to create a safe, stable & loving container for them to authentically express themselves.

Only when we can create this for ourselves can we provide it for our children. That is the purpose of re-parenting in my opinion, to reconnect with our own inner child to be able to empathize with our children & their varying degrees of the emotional spectrum. When we can relate to our own inner child we can relate more closely & consciously to our children.

When I am feeling fear I know it’s because I need to rest & get quiet. The more I resist this, the more emotional turmoil I create & the more my perception is distorted & I feel anxious. As soon as I allow myself to express(cry), BE & surrender. I begin to FLOW, I begin to reestablish connection to my Spirit & I come back into alignment & stability; mentally, emotionally & physically.

From here I am able to take care of myself in new ways, I am able to provide my mind with thoughts of peace. I am able to to support my body through nourishment. I am able to encourage myself to get out of bed with my internal dialogue & motivate myself to move my energy. I am able to care for myself with compassion, empathy & understanding.

Our strength comes from our ability to be gentle & nurturing towards ourselves in our most difficult experiences. Strength is not being tough, cold, hard & emotionless. Strength is compassion. Crying & authentically & creatively expressing my emotions has reunited me with my strength & my softness. We can be both. It's easier & quicker to be distant & withdrawn, it's how we as "wounded" children unconsciously learned how to protect ourselves. But to have a deep connection with our children, partner & humanity we must consciously choose to be soft, open & vulnerable.

It is courageous to truly FEEL your emotions in a world that is hard, cold & corrupt. Don’t let your past or the future keep you from softening, from expanding & offering.

When we can extend & offer grace to ourselves, we can offer it to our closest relationships, including our children & the world.

Thank you for reading!

Love & blessings, Ashley <3