Cross-roads

Recently I was opening up to an acquaintance about what I was experiencing internally with my belief system & I was sharing with her this image I had to describe what I’m feeling & for me I’m at a crossroads in my life where it feels like all these different avenues of thoughts & ideals are all stopped at an intersection & I have to make a choice on which path I’m going to take & what direction I will go.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” || John‬ ‭8:12‬

I have a lot of different options & you might think that that isn’t such a bad thing, right? That having a lot of options is a good thing. & it is, but it can also feel very overwhelming & in the past I would start to over analyze into a state of confusion & procrastination & instead of making a decision I let circumstances outside of me, sort of choose for me. This has always felt like the easier & safer route because then I don’t have to take personal responsibility for what happens, I get to cop out of it & blame the situation that isn’t necessarily what I wanted, but iswhat I got because of my lack of choice.

This time in my life feels different. I think it’s because I don’t feel the need to rush into anything or to make an impulsive decision. I’m getting & giving the opportunity to myself to take some time to reflect on it & make an informed decision from a place of safety & security. This is requiring me to be patient & to surrender my fears of “falling behind” or “wasting time” & to be still & pray on it. To ask God what I should do next, what my next move should be. Before I would have tried to rely on my own understanding, I would have tried to try to control the situation & outcome by obsessing over it or trying to predict & perfect every detail before taking steps forward. This time is different because Jesus Christ is guiding me, He’s giving me a sense of direction I have longed for since I was a child.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, & do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, & he will make straight your paths.” || Proverbs 3:5&6

I’ve come to the conclusion that while the mystery of the unknown seems intriguing & enticing as a creator of my own reality. Jesus’s way has already been laid out for me. There’s no aspect of His path that makes me “fearful of the unknown”. His path brings me a sense of clarity & stability that doesn’t send me into a tizzy about what to do next. The steps are given to me one at a time. In bite sizes so that I don’t have to worry about how the whole Kingdom is going to be built. I don’t have to fret & worry about the resources being supplied or how it will get done or every single detail of the path ahead.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” ||Deuteronomy‬ 31:8

Simply put, I get to Trust that I am being lead in the right direction. There’s no fear about making the “wrong choice” or going the “wrong way”. I’m not spinning in circles, chasing my tail trying to figure it all out ahead of time. I’m moving forward with faith one step at a time. I am trusting in my Creator to create my reality, rather than trying to do it all on my own. I am not anxious of the unknown because with Him my future is already known. He sees ahead & knows the way for me & I trust in him to show me the way, to guide me & protect me & provide for me.

Often when we are faced with a “fork in the road” we have all these “what ifs” & worse case scenarios arise to keep us from following the voice of God. You are not the director of your life, God is. You take the steps, but he directs them in a way that He sees fit for you. Satan can lead you into temptation in moments of uncertainty. He can convince you to take short cuts that may bring you immediate gratification, but in the long run, create disharmony in your life & with God. As humans we like to think that we know better. That we are in control. But that is far from the Truth. So, we often choose to listen to our fear & doubt that says; if you follow the voice of God & quit that job that’s stealing your soul, or that unhealthy relationship that’s sucking the life out of you, you won’t be provided for. Now, with situations like this you always have a choice & you can choose to listen to your fears & stay on the path that leads to spiritual death. Or you can choose to make a new decision that leads to eternal life with God. & to a life that’s fruitful & fulfilling.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. &the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭||Philippians‬ ‭4:6&7

Here’s the thing, you may have to compromise in these situations. You may have to cut back on spending in other areas of your life (like Starbucks or cigarettes, or nights out at the bar with your friends, etc) you may have to downsize & sell your home or vehicle to be able to make what God wants possible. Theses are tough decisions that you can avoid you’re entire life. Because what God asks of you won’t alway be the easy way out. It will require you to sacrifice. This doesn’t mean that you need to be self sacrificing, but it does mean that if you want to live the life God has planned for you, you will have to give up maybe worldly success or status or possessions or power positions & completely alter your lifestyle.

Will people question your choices? Absolutely, one hundred percent they will. They may tell you that you’re “crazy” to give up all you’ve “worked” for to please God. But it’s in those crucial moments in our lives, that we have to choose God over what the world, or what others, including our friends & family members & even maybe our colleagues & bosses would choose for us. There are so many times in life that we’re faced with a challenging decision. You can feel like you’re stuck between a rock & a hard place. & it’s from that place that you have to take responsibility & make the choice for yourself. Instead of letting others choose for you, or even worse choosing not to choose, which also isa decision that will lead to a place that you don’t want to be.

Making decisions with & for God aren’t going to always feel pleasant, in fact, there going to probably be the most difficult decisions we have to make in life. But choosing to live for Him will always be worth it in the end. When He is your prize possession you can give up all other worldly possessions & can keep your eye on him & all things will be done through him & you will always be supported. It may just look different from what your used to or what you want. But it will always be what you need. & you have to learn to trust that, to trust him.

“& everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold & will inherit eternal life.” || Matthew‬ ‭19:29‬

Out of all the roads I could have chosen, because there were a lot of ways I could have gone, like philosophy, astrology, Hinduism, paganism, witchcraft, mysticism, alchemy, energy healing, metaphysics, just to name a few. With all those other avenues there wasn’t any certainty or clarity. It all felt too broad. But the path that Christ laid before me was narrow yes, but also simple & for me that was more appealing than trying to navigate all these other paths alone. I know that on the path that Jesus has chosen for me that He will always be with me.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide & the way is easy that leads to destruction, & those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow & the way is hard that leads to life, & those who find it are few.” || Matthew‬ ‭7:13&14

Ultimately it’s become such an easy choice because of that alone…that with him & his path I will never be alone. I will always have my Savior to lean on when I become tired or overwhelmed or anxious. I will have a Father figure to lead me with faith & hope in my future. I will have a hand to hold when I’m fearful of what I cannot see. I will have a brother to shield me & protect me from the temptations of the enemy. I will have The Son to shed his light before me so that I can see my way through the dark ages & stay rooted in joy! I have the bridegroom as my husband to give me the gift of unfailing & unwavering love. An eternal & glorious union. With Him there is nothing that I cannot do. With faith in him no path will be impossible for me.

“For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ & it will move, & nothing will be impossible for you.”

|| Matthew‬ ‭17:20‬ ‭

Thank you for reading!

Blessings be with you, Ashley <3

———> be sure to check out my podcast where I dive deeper into this subject to talk about following Christ vs your heart & how to navigate life changes with faith & courage.

Follow me on Instagram @dating.gods.son & find my podcast: Dating God’s Son on Spotify!