Committed to Liberation

There is a distorted belief in our society today that I am personally recognizing and struggling to wrap my mind around. It’s the idea that women who are single are lonely.cold closed off or, not good enough, we associate this idea of being in a relationship with our wholeness and value. It is sickening and often makes women cling and control in order to receive the love they already possess. With our “hook-up” culture it is considered “normal” for women to be out “chasing”, trying to “lockdown” a man with her “pussy”. We’re not taught to honor our wombs as a sacred sanctuary for men to enter, instead we are taught to force or control for “survival” needs. As a society we've been taught that our fulfillment and happiness come from outside of us, from relationships, children, jobs and money. This is a false belief that is keeping women and men from attracting and receiving healthy, reciprocal, expansive, committed and liberating love.

One belief that my ego tries so tightly to hold onto is; that I am getting old… The ego is obsessed with timing. I seriously have to laugh at my own doubt, at my own fear, knowing that as a 28 year old woman; I have plenty of time, that my idea of “success” isn’t based in an energy of desperation or manipulation just so my mind feels “secure”. Women and men tend to settle early on in life, before they’ve gotten the chance to truly know thyself. They settle into what feels comfortable, so long as they don’t look and feel alone. Our youth is jumping from partner to partner before they even have a chance to grieve, release and heal from a “failed” relationship. They tend to skip over the part that teaches them what it truly means to love, because grief is the price we pay when we love. Grief is the greatest teacher for love, yet most of us deny this part of relating, because it’s not sugar coated, it’s deep and dark and painful. Our society has only been feeding us one aspect of love. They don’t teach us that the contrast of love is fear, and that without facing our fears we can’t experience true love. Most seek relationships that make them feel “safe”, but in actuality the partnership gives them a place to hide, a place to avoid facing the “unknown”. What I mean by the “unknown” is; that time when all you have is yourself, your thoughts and your feelings. Most people are in relationships to avoid dealing with their own soul, their own unresolved emotions that can’t hide when we’re single and alone.

I find it extremely odd that so many men and women have bought into this belief that they must graduate from the right school, find a partner, have a child and have a “good” (secure) job in order to be “successful”, but what does this all give you? A sense that you’re right on track with everyone else, that you’re in control? That you have it all together and are somehow more worthy because you have attained these things? Always remember; you cannot take the “empire” with you when you go, you can’t take the money, the house, the degree, the title, the clothes. The pretty picture will fade, they body will wrinkle and decay, but connection, intimacy and experience go with you far beyond this world. The integrity of your empire, your relationship with yourself and others is what will impact the world and withstand the test of time. Without a solid foundation built from eternal beliefs the mind will always search for more, it will always grasp for the tangible. But the faithful heart will know without a shadow of a doubt that what they leave behind is only a testament to their capacity to give and receive love uninhibited.

We’ve been fed a false sense of relating and it has created this belief that commitment is attachment, that we’re committed only when we feel bound with a “heavy” load and mountains of responsibility, only then can we deem ourselves “successful” and “committed”. What I've learned recently is that you can be committed and liberated. If you feel bound by your responsibilities maybe that’s because they aren’t yours. Too often, especially empathetic individuals feel the need to carry emotional baggage that isn’t theirs as a way to feel “heroic” or proud, to stimulate the feeling of being needed and valued. It strokes the ego, but not the “cock”, a mans cock is a portal to his heart space, when a man stops wanting external validation he becomes a passionate and committed lover, men have been taught to abuse their sacred tool for material and egotistical gain. Men have not been taught to have a healthy relationship with their cock, their penis is their connection to God. When we teach men this, they treat themselves differently, with more respect, in return they will learn to respect a woman and her “pussy”. Our value does not come from being needed, it comes from being love.

I use grief as a catalyst for spiritual growth, I use it to merge deeper into union with The Divine. Every time my spiritual partner consciously chooses to reject and deny our connection I have to grieve, it's not a prison sentence, it’s an expansive liberation that is unmatched to any emotional experience I’ve ever felt. It allows me to grow in new, unfamiliar territory which is the only place we discover more of who we are & what we’re capable of overcoming, emotionally & physically. I use it as an obstacle course to play in, making the “harsh” energy easy to manage & maneuver as I transmute & alchemize through creative and emotional expression.

It’s only painful when we’re attached to or lust after the physical (bodies, status, money, home), that false sense of security. But when we probe beneath the surface, into the grief & emotional depths you will notice yourself reconnecting to “the light”, reuniting to your natural expression; love, pleasure & joy. You learn your security comes from what can only be felt, The Unseen. The “void” is not threatening, it is pleasurably transcendent, if you choose to view it from your emotions and not your ego.

When darkness; anger, depression, loneliness, shame, guilt & hate are familiar, learning to receive & cultivate light; joy, unity, contentment, fulfillment, pleasure, peace, prosperity, abundance & love will be like overriding a virus on your computer system, it takes time & patience, you’re completely destroying thousands of years of programming & updating your emotional, psychological & energetic blueprints. Being single gives you time & space to download this "new" program for your own personal development and well-being. You’re literally transforming your cells. Nurture yourself, with double doses of self love & self care. Give to yourself, you deserve love. We tend to believe that over-giving or extending our energy to others, even when we’re depleted, is selfless & our “responsibility”, but our only responsibility is to take care & love ourselves so that we can do what we desire to do; care for others without expectation.

Highly sensitive men & women need to take extra precautions, as their energy can be attractive to “energy suckers”, know that anyone that depletes your energy, leaving you feeling empty & lifeless is a lesson in boundaries. It’s a soulmate that came to teach you how to step into your power, whether you’re aware of the contract or not the karma will continue to be repeated until the necessary boundaries are acted on & implemented. Doing this is like holding yourself prisoner & it will feel constricting. You can become a victim, most likely a past life related scenario playing out in a new way as an opportunity to heal the energy. So it can be perceived as a burden or it can liberate your soul & expand your consciousness, knowing you're never bound in the energy of Love, elevating your life in new ways because you’re no longer consumed by the energy of fear, allowing the physical to dissolve in natural order.

I’ve experienced this with an aggressive, controlling & dominating father & a narcissistic & emotionally manipulative mother. I thank them now because on a soul level they taught me how to place boundaries & still love them unconditionally, I was able to believe in myself despite what they were projecting onto me based in our own karmic wounds & insecurities. This helped me strengthen my energy & detach. Most often we feel a deep sense of commitment to these connections, but we recognize it’s not a commitment, it’s unhealthy attachment formed from unhealthy patterns that are mutual & karmic. Their energy is a mirror of our deepest wounds. Any relationship, including the one with ourselves, that doesn’t move us closer to love is an opportunity to heal any blockages keeping us from being love, our one & only true commitment.

Because this connection FEELS like nothing I’ve ever experienced I’ve had to create a new personality. In order for me to freely love this mirror soul, all I had to do was love myself more, which helped me get to know & express myself in new, more healthy ways. Always choosing myself & doing what brings me joy before ever choosing anything outside of myself. This is a lesson in receiving that I’m learning to master, by actively choosing to remove the virus of “abandonment” knowing that when I choose God I will always be chosen. All I have to do is trust & commit to Him & my mission. Choosing God over “man” will always bring great reward, because in choosing Him you’re choosing YOU.

My new affirmation <3

Thank you for reading!

Love & blessings, Ashley <3