Ashley's Testimony

If you aren’t being constantly entertained do you find yourself becoming bored? Either entertained by your phone, the internet, TV, Social Media, a magazine, the news paper & programs, your work drama, your best friends relationship problems, memes, tutorials, your self deprecating jokes…

You get my point here, right?

That if you aren’t involved in the latest celeb gossip or “in the know” of the newest variant that you’re just not “with the times”. In the “age of information” everyone & their brother is an “expert” at something or sharing their two cents with the world.

It can be challenging to discern & to move away from all the noise of distraction & entertainment. But as soon as you intentionally withdraw yourself from it all, you start to feel the withdraw of entertainment. It's a New Age addiction that is masked & marketed as harmless & pure.

Instead of sitting with your thoughts about your life, maybe why you are here or what’s your purpose in all of this, or is there something more, what is the deeper meaning?

Instead of praying, asking questions & then listening & receiving you look to entertainment to drown it all out because you’re so overwhelmed & overstimulated with what you sense, see, hear & feel. This can cause so much insecurity, doubt, paranoia, fear, anxiety & confusion. It can also open up the doorway to demonic oppression. That’s where Faith comes in. That’s where you surrender what you don’t know to the Most High & let Him work it out for you.

“Trust in the Lord with all you heart, & do not lean on your own understanding.”

|| proverbs 3:5

Often you may feel lonely while alone, without all the distractions & entertainment it can feel desolate & that’s when all your convictions start to arise. You may begin to feel defensive & restless & resist the deconstruction of what you’ve used to keep you away from God.

You may feel as though God is doing this to you, that He is the reason your life is “falling apart”, & it probably is, but his Presence in your life is only revealing to you what has always been there, but has been blocking your Image so that He can rebuild you.

He will ask you to give up things that may have always brought you comfort, like TV or toxic relationships, or unhealthy habits. He’s not doing this to punish you, but rather to discipline you so that you can begin to see more clearly His Image of you & your life.

Not all of us are delt a winning hand in life. Some of us have had to face challenge after challenge, set back after set back, loss after loss, hardship after hardship, abuse, pain, heartache, illness & disease.

You aren’t always going to have a perfect manicured life that is built by God. If you grew up in a dysfunctional household like myself you’re not going to have a foundation built on love, forgiveness, peace, faith, trust & compassion. You’re most likely going to feel forgotten & abandoned.

At least, that’s how I felt into early adulthood, as a child that grew up around domestic violence & mentally & emotionally unstable parents. It can leave you feeling like a victim to life. Like there just must be something wrong with you. This mentality can lead to habits & patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles of dysfunction. Especially in regards to intimate relationships.

This is why building your foundation on The Rock, by Dating God’s Son is how you transform your unhealthy relationship patterns into a solid foundation for your future & current connections to grow.

“He is like a man building a house, who dug deep & laid the foundation on the rock. & when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house & could not shake it, because it had been well built.” || Luke 6:48

In dysfunctional relationships at an early age you can often be stuck at an emotional maturity level that is childish. This can manifest as arguments in your adult relationships, it can look like insecurity, pettiness, trust issues, wanting to control your relationships, wanting to micromanage & obsess over little things that lead to bigger problem. It can look like avoiding confrontation, self sacrificing your own needs, neglecting your mental, emotional, physical & spiritual heath. It can lead to great distress in the body & the mind & cause a multitude of symptoms & if left untreated can lead to long term illness & disease.

Jesus Christ works through your imagination to heal these things that hold you back from Godly love & relationships. Which means that in order to call Him into your life you must open your mind & place your focus on His presence. This is why taking the steps to heal you inner child is an important step in returning to Christ. Because I want to remind you that Jesus has always & will always be Here with you. But when you’re distracting yourself & constantly needing to entertain yourself you cannot communicate with Him. Through stillness of mind & body he can be reached, he can be felt, heard & for some he can be seen.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” || Matthew 5:8

His workings are miraculous & less practical, that’s why having an open & receptive mind & attitude can give him permission to work through you. At first his presence may frighten you, especially because it’s so loving & accepting & to be honest most people struggle with feeling worthy of love & acceptance which directly links back to their childhood & upbringing. You could have authority issues that keep you from trusting His guidance & presence. When Christ isn’t instilled into us & isn’t a constant in our life we will not know how to receive & allow his Love to bless us. You may find yourself rejecting it because it feels so powerful & you may have had your power taken from you as a child.

This could look like your imagination being stunted by ridicule or by having to grow up faster than you should have, by having to be a caretaker of your parents or raise siblings younger than you. This could also look like your self esteem being torn down by narcissistic caregivers that were highly critical & judgmental. This could also look like experiencing emotional, physical, psychological, verbal or sexual abuse that stripped you of your innocence & sensitivity.

In order to cope & survive with these things you had to disconnect & disassociate from God, from your purity of heart & mind. This is what begins to build the wall between you & Jesus. He starts to become blurred by the voices of doubt, fear, anxiety, self hatred & emotional pain that is stored in your body & subconscious mind due to the abuse you may have faced as a child.

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn & become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” || Matthew 18:3

This is where you begin to abandon God. This certainly isn’t your fault & it can be so easy to blame God when you’ve experienced such painful & traumatic events in your life. But He is there unwavering, just beyond the noise of your suffering & coping mechanisms. He is always there waiting for you to lean on His understanding. Because what happens when you face abuse like that, is your mind try’s to analyze it, you try & try to understand why all this is happening to you & generally because you’re so young you can’t grasp it, you can’t see beyond it & it can consume you.

This is what happened to me as a child & as I grew into adolescence & into my early twenty’s I was suffering with depression & anxiety & suicidal thoughts. I was experiencing demonic oppression & I didn’t want to be here because the pain & suffering I was carrying was so heavy that it was suffocating me & I felt like I was drowning in my emotions that I wasn’t ever allowed to feel & express & they became repressed & as a result I became depressed & burdened with guilt & shame.

I was hopeless & feeling so much despair at such a young age & I felt there was no way out. I was angry & sad & I felt abandoned & directionless, I had no guidance & nowhere to turn to. That’s when I had no choice but to turn back to God. It wasn’t easy & it didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a steady & consistent path that continues to lead me deeper & deeper into communion with Christ. It has quite literally saved my life in so many ways. Through my health first & foremost & through my relationships. Through placing boundaries & devoting to Dating God’s Son. To seeking him out, following him & submitting to him.

“Come to me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, & learn from me, for I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, & my burden is light.” || Matthew 11

Thank you for reading!

Blessings be with you, Ashley <3

---—> follow me on Instagram @dating.gods.son & listen to my full testimony on my podcast on Spotify : find the link in my IG bio or search Dating God’s Son